Is your name candle?
Bc I wanna blow you
jokes on u bc im a trick candle so ull be blowin me all night
ive been hiding this silly putty stain in the carpet under a mat from my mom since i was 8
WHEN I WAS IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL THERE WAS THIS DUMB JOKE
“BEND OVER AND SPELL RUN”
AND IM 100% SURE NONE OF THOSE LITTLE EIGHT YEAR OLD SHITS KNEW WHAT IT MEANT
BUT I JUST REALIZED WHAT IT MEANt
this girl on my facebook feed has been posting statuses for 8 hours straight all today begging for someone to kill a spider in her bathroom and having several breakdowns in the middle and ranting about how she has no true friends because no one would kill it only to realize that it was a piece of hair and i’m still laughing
So my mom and I have been working the same waitress job for 5-6 years now. She had been waitressing years before, but this is recently. Anyway, about… 15 minutes ago this guy she waited on left and told her to take care. Just that. Prior to this she had talked to him about Italy. Her people are from Florence, this and that, and she said she’s never been. She’s got 8 years of art education and she’s working a waitress job. It’s pretty… Sad and disappointing, I guess. Her and my father divorced 6 years ago and she hasn’t had a real job ever. Just been stuck in a small town she’s not from.
This man who we have never seen before tipped her 1000 dollars for a trip to Italy. Walked out, not another word.
…you know. Just when I start to lose faith in humanity….Hm.
“youll be home alone for a few hours is that okay”
when you know people are way out of your league and you still develop a crush on them
when someone tries to argue with you on a topic you know more about
of all the random fucking things to write into the earth to be seen from satellite
ur so basic ur a 15 on the pH scale
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