Post reblogged from No Heroes Allowed with 2,269 notes
Is your name candle?
Bc I wanna blow youjokes on u bc im a trick candle so ull be blowin me all night
Source: condorn
Photo reblogged from im gonna piss with 32,725 notes
ive been hiding this silly putty stain in the carpet under a mat from my mom since i was 8
Source: h0odrich
Post reblogged from No Heroes Allowed with 54,506 notes
DUUUUUUUUUUDE
WHEN I WAS IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL THERE WAS THIS DUMB JOKE
“BEND OVER AND SPELL RUN”
AND IM 100% SURE NONE OF THOSE LITTLE EIGHT YEAR OLD SHITS KNEW WHAT IT MEANT
BUT I JUST REALIZED WHAT IT MEANt
Source: egberts
Photoset reblogged from No with 26,731 notes
this girl on my facebook feed has been posting statuses for 8 hours straight all today begging for someone to kill a spider in her bathroom and having several breakdowns in the middle and ranting about how she has no true friends because no one would kill it only to realize that it was a piece of hair and i’m still laughing
Source: rydek
Photo reblogged from No with 182,012 notes
So my mom and I have been working the same waitress job for 5-6 years now. She had been waitressing years before, but this is recently. Anyway, about… 15 minutes ago this guy she waited on left and told her to take care. Just that. Prior to this she had talked to him about Italy. Her people are from Florence, this and that, and she said she’s never been. She’s got 8 years of art education and she’s working a waitress job. It’s pretty… Sad and disappointing, I guess. Her and my father divorced 6 years ago and she hasn’t had a real job ever. Just been stuck in a small town she’s not from.
This man who we have never seen before tipped her 1000 dollars for a trip to Italy. Walked out, not another word.
…you know. Just when I start to lose faith in humanity….Hm.
Source: casualcynic
Post reblogged from No Heroes Allowed with 149,546 notes
“youll be home alone for a few hours is that okay”
Source: ninfia
Post reblogged from Out of the Way, Bunny with 385 notes
when you know people are way out of your league and you still develop a crush on them
Source: deerstagram
Post reblogged from im gonna piss with 50,745 notes
when someone tries to argue with you on a topic you know more about
Source: theselener
Photo reblogged from im gonna piss with 73,608 notes
of all the random fucking things to write into the earth to be seen from satellite
Page 1 of 54
